I feel like I haven’t blogged in twenty-seven lifetimes. So, here I am.
I think part of the problem is that I haven’t really known what to talk about. Do I just jump right back into funny shit my kids do? Do I pretend like life didn’t go off the rails for a couple weeks there? I think about blogging a lot. I love to write and I love to interact with people. I love it every single time I write something and people tell me that I am speaking their language. I love to process my own life and my own thoughts by putting words on paper (screen). In the end, that’s why I’m back today. This isn’t a marriage blog, a divorce blog, a parenting blog. I don’t have to define it. It isn’t going to fit neatly in a box, just like I never will. This blog is me. All 987 sides of me.
One thing that I have learned in the last few weeks is the value of self care. I am changing, I am evolving, I am not becoming someone new- I’m learning to be more true to who I have always been. I am working on taking care of myself in every way. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I’m going to church. I’m exercising. I’m working on my diet. I’m letting go of the shit that doesn’t matter. I’m learning to worry more about what I think than what someone else thinks. I’m learning to stop being so judgmental. The twist is that I’m not really very judgmental at all when it comes to other people, but I’m super judgmental when it comes to myself. I’m telling that nagging voice to shut. up.
I’m remembering to let the difficult times chip away at all the rough edges. No grit, no pearl.